Most of my Monday Quotes so far have come from scientists or philosophers of science. Today’s comes from William Melvin “Bill” Hicks (1961-1994), an American comedian and musician who died of pancreatic cancer at the young age of 32. There’s a lot of talk going around the social networking sites today about pro-lifers because yet another has threatened to murder someone. Murderously violent pro-lifers often remind me of Bill because of some of his stand-up sets.
“Pro-lifers murdering doctors. Pro-lifers murdering people. It’s irony on a base level.”
“Boy, I’ve never seen an issue so divisive, its like a civil war ain’t it? Even amongst my friends, who are all very intelligent. They are totally divided on abortion. It’s unbelievable. Some of my friends, for instance, think these pro-life people are annoying idiots. Other friends think these pro-life people are evil fucks. How are we going to come to a consensus? You ought to hear the arguments around my house: they’re annoying, they’re idiots, they’re evil, they’re fucks! Brothers, sisters, come together. Cant we for once just join hands and think of them as evil annoying idiot fucks?”
So I thought today I’d just share another memorable quote from Bill about pro-lifers since that seems to be the hot topic today. And of course as a little tribute to someone who is still greatly missed.
“We’re pro life.”
What does that make me? You know what I’m saying? If you’re so pro-life do me a fucking favour. Don’t block med clinics, OK? Lock arms… and block cemeteries. Let’s see how fucking committed you are to this premise.
“She can’t come in.”
“She was 96, she was hit by a bus.”
“Have we got to have her stuffed? What are you talking about? She’s dead!”
“We’re pro-life, get her out of that casket! She’s not going, we’re pro-life people. There will be no death on this planet.”
Pro-life. Here’s my actual theory, beyond the huge, hilarious jokes I have… Here’s my real theory though… If you’re so pro-life and you’re so pro-child, then adopt one that’s already here, that’s very unwanted and very alone, who needs someone to take care of it, to get it out of a horrible situation. And people say, “well then why don’t you do that?” and I say “because I hate fucking kids and couldn’t care less”. Couldn’t give a fuck. Don’t care at all about abortion. It’s your choice, case closed, the end, bottom line.
- Bill Hicks, comedian, satirist, and musician.